Are You Financially Undateable? Talking About Finances With A New Partner

This Valentine’s day Team Jackie Porter is about making love last. No one wants to be considered financially undateable, so we provide resources on how to navigate dating and cultivating money conversations with a prospective partner. This week we spoke to Melissa Leong from the Social on what it means to be undateable and how you can tackle addressing your financial circumstances with your partner. If you want to learn our strategies on how to become financially dateable and tackle finances with your partner, keep reading our post!

When is a good time to talk about finances with your partner?

Although you might not want to talk about important issues during your honeymoon phase, the sooner you talk about finances with your partner the better. If you don’t have discussions about money before the honeymoon phase ends, you might realize you are financially incompatible with your partner and won’t have a concrete strategy on how to manage money as a couple when things get serious and resentment can kick in.. Do you want to avoid money conflicts and learn how to tackle money management issues in a relationship from the honeymoon phase to your Silver and Gold anniversary? Keep reading our blog post to learn our strategies! 

How important is it to be financially dateable?

The good news is that no one is objectively financially undateable. It’s an individual’s decision on what traits are considered valuable when looking for a long-term partner. However, when it comes to ourselves are, we are honest about our own situation? If you aren’t where you want to be financially, think about how you will address it with a potential partner. Are you prepared to work on your financial circumstances? Will you be completely transparent about where you financially are and what you’re doing to improve it? Even if you feel vulnerable about sharing your financial situation, being open and honest about it can build trust in your relationship and create a more solid foundation for your future. 

What are some financial challenges that might impact someone’s social life?

If you and your partner share similar values about how to handle money, then you are likely to have fewer financial conflicts when you are setting goals. However, this might not be true for every situation. Melissa mentioned how having a different outlook on finances can bring numerous challenges to a relationship.  For example what if you are a saver and the prospective love of your life is a spender?  Not being on the same page in terms of money values can lead to judgment and cause conflict in a relationship. To prevent frequent arguments, it’s best to directly ask questions to your partner instead of jumping to conclusions about what their financial attitudes might say about them. One easy way to better understand your partner’s financial values by asking about how their family handled money early on in your relationship. 

How can you have a constructive money conversation with a partner?

Although it’s important to discuss finances with your partner to assess your compatibility, Melissa shared how talking about money can often bring up a lot of emotions that can undermine the relationship over time. . If the couples are not equipped with financial literacy and have not figured out to approach finances as a couple, then their chance of not solving their financial issues and consequently their relationship issues is higher.. 

An important way to help couples stay on the same page about their finances is to try not to talk about money when they are already angry about a money issue. Waiting to let your feelings settle before you decide to have a conversation can significantly help with having a rational conversation about the financial issues without blaming and shaming the other person. If you and your partner want to ensure all your financial needs are met, create you, me and we spending plans that entail your needs as individuals and as a couple. Finally, seek out the services of a trusted financial planner. Financial planners are experts who can provide a neutral third-party perspective to your situation and come up with a plan to address how the couple can work together to deal with financial challenges that each person may be dealing with on their own. If you want to take advantage of our free 30-minute financial planning session, click here to book your appointment! 

How can you position yourself to be financially successful in a relationship?

If you are coming into a relationship when you aren’t satisfied with your financial circumstances,, you need to figure what you are willing to do about your financial situation? Being financially dateable means taking responsibility,, being honest about where you are and working as a team with your partner to come with a plan you both can live with to get back on track.  If you have met the right partner, they can be on your team to help you take action on your financial goals by motivating you as you ‘adult your finances. 

What advice would we give for the so-called ‘financially undateable’?

1. Get comfortable to open up about your finances:

You won’t know what is possible in your relationship unless you are prepared to get financially naked and vulnerable about where you are in your life and what you need. At the end of the day, it starts with you.

2. Address finances early in the relationship:

Talk about money early in the relationship and often. Since finances can significantly impact the success of your relationship, see every conversation as an opportunity to learn more about how you and your partner approach finances.

3. Take responsibility for your situation:

If you are not in a desired financial situation, don’t expect anyone else to rescue you from your debt, bad credit or irresponsible behaviour. For the honeymoon phase of your relationship to last, you need to take responsibility, work on your financial issues, and work well as a team with your partner.

We hope you enjoyed reading our blog post! Check the full live chat here. You can find our live chats and more of the latest financial news on our News Blog. Stay tuned to learn more tips on a new topic each week on our Instagram Live at 5 on Instagram! Aside from our live chats, we post daily financial updates on social media! Follow us on Linkedin, Twitter and Facebook and Instagram.